Every One of My Children Can

My passion. My gift. My balm to soothe. To me, playing and teaching violin transports me to another place. That place is alive, breathing the voice of my instrument, vibrating perfectly with the sound waves created. It is where I hear the Spirit speak to me so many mysteries.

This is the Sanctuary God gave me. It is my resting place in Him. Renewal comes through the very act of worshiping Him within the movement of the music. The beauty of the Sanctuary is resounding joy.

Tonight I am asked by one of my very thoughtful and gifted students about my start in music. I tell her about the early years on piano and then share with her how in upper elementary school, a music educator discouraged me from playing violinand in fact did not choose me to be a part of the strings class for the following year.

Because of my very astute mother who wasn’t about to let that happen to me, she instead put me into private lessons. I see now that God had his way in my life at that very moment. He showed me the power of a mother and father’s love for their child and their belief that indeed I could play the violin. I flourished and worked very hard. I knew I could do it and my parents supported me in every possible way.

Then, I shared with my student how in the Suzuki method of teaching that Dr. Suzuki’s whole philosophy centered around the belief that every child can play music and that I believe this with my entire being. By now, my student’s eyes are watering as I express the truth of what it means to believe that someone can truly play music when nurtured with love.

She tells me what an inspirational story this is and I see a look in her eye that tells me that I have touched something deep in her. At the door, I tell her that I am so very glad that my parents gave me the chance to develop this gift and that God had other plans in mind for me in spite of a teacher’s wrong assessment so long ago. She glances at me when I mention God’s name and I see a glimmer of hope there in her face.

Isn’t this just like you Father. You take my story and use it for you…all for you. Oh God, my God, let my stories always point to you…always!

I enter His Sanctuary with violin and bow in hand…ready. Ready to have Him give life to these strings.

I can clearly discern now how my heavenly Father believes that I can. He makes me able. He gives the power to do this for Him. The passion flows from Him and makes its way back to Him right where it all belongs.

I close the door and close my eyes tightly remembering why and Who. A sob or two escapes and I thank Him for it all. How could I not? I stand there with a flood of emotions breaking in the midst of all the ways He has ever shown me that His fingerprints have been all over me for so very long.

It is a moment of worship. A holy moment between me and my Lord…in the Sanctuary.


Not Just Another Day

I awake startled…..life beginning anew….mine forever changed.

   Is this really it…is this happening now? I turn to Rick and tell him that my water has broken and that it is time to call the doctor and make the trek to the hospital….the same hospital where I was born on a cold winter’s day, as well. Something tells me that this is going to be an adventure all the way around!! We arrive and get settled into our birthing suite all comfy. The afternoon comes but still no baby, so I am induced. I wish I had never heard that word. My body is in constant waves of pain at regular intervals now. After what seems like a lifetime and no real progress being made, the doc says that other word that was never meant to be part of my plan…you know..the birthing plan I had ideally made up in my ideal world. You know the word…epidural. So at nine that night I am curled over waiting for an excruciating point of entry by the needle I never intended to see…ever. By 2:48am, the cutest red-headed baby boy made his grand entrance into our world.

We prayed together and we cried together. We gave him the name Richard Samuel and we dedicated him to the Lord that very day in the dark moments of the morning before the dawn. I knew that this was a special child. He had been intensely asked for on bended knee and with my whole body kissing the ground…holy ground. God answered….yes.

My father had waited there the whole time…outside the room mostly. I know he was praying and asking God for a beautiful perfect little baby boy to be born. He probably never stopped praying…that’s just who he was. I know he heard my birthing cries. I know he probably wanted to make it all stop for me…to comfort me. That is just who he was. I also know that he knew exactly how I would feel once I held that sweet baby boy to my chest and kissed his little face because he had kissed my own so long ago….that’s just who he was and is to me.

I entered the Sanctuary of God that day with a whole new way of thinking, a whole new way of being in awe of God…the author of all life…the Creator of this little baby Richard Samuel. My body was so very tired, but my spirit was so very alive. See, I know that just like my earthly father, my heavenly Father was there with me in this day. He was watching over me, protecting me and our little one. He was excited for this new journey to begin. Also, God knew just what the impact of this child would have on my life, on our lives. God kissed me that day…His child…as He leaned over me and gave me His eyes and His love for this child. That’s just who He really is and always will be…forever.


Today I come into His Sanctuary a bit parched. The desert can leave an incredible burn from the intense heat radiating off the landscape. All I really want to do is satisfy that thirst I have deep inside me. So I dip my feet in the pool of refreshment that only He can offer. What I really want to do is thrust my whole being into that pool, but I enter carefully, not reluctantly, but with reverence, so my spirit and mind can be renewed in the refreshing waters of His Sanctuary.

It is amazing how when you have been praying and God has done wonderful things by opening your eyes further to His unending holiness, that Death will come all ugly and gnarled to steal it all away. This Death serves up an unholy meal of fear and great discouragement. But…today I know where to go, where to be refreshed, where to immerse my myself. I enter His Sanctuary expectantly waiting to receive gifts of truth to inspire joy and hope for this day.

Hope springs eternal….and our Hope is eternal.

Clinging to the hope He offers brings me to a quieter countenance as I sit with Him in the Sanctuary a little while longer….just lingering there. I really need my gaze to be utterly fused together with His at this moment in time. I need to see what He can see about me, about this day, about this life. I so much want Him to show me just where this all ends, but for now, I just allow the coolness of His Spirit to wash over this tired and overloaded body and mind to be replenished.

I spend this time with Him….a time of restoration… and I can then respond with trust. Here there is true authenticity before God. No more walls. No more wandering. Here His mercy is  lavished so generously on me in that pool of love eternal.